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Sep 30, 2010:

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Thur-dayy*3oo91o* .


woke up lying on baby jr.'s bed
overhearing a conversation.
helped her finish her templates while she slept till o4oohrs.
then exhausted, i turned in too..

didn't mean to eavesdrop.
but their voices got into the room.
poor girl..
i don't think her mum will let go of her anytime soon.
so restricted.. exhausted..
the world of solitary confinement inside herself.
her blank soul-less eyes revealed itself too clearly.
reminding me too much of myself, it's scary.
& me.. a world too loose. too free..
so transparent that i'm suffocating with lack of air.
i need people to actually pull my hand.
at least i'd be able to see my self-worth.


yesterday was a sort of reinforcement as to why
i don't take up pure arts as a module.
i could never do the best of my capabilities
something i was forced to.

datelines, due dates..
"don't stop running, keep going."
"be sure to do this, don't ever do that."
"you can do better than that, at least hit the limit."
80%. you have to get at least 80%.
if you understand it's easy to get even a perfect score.
well well..
the fine line between genius and insanity.

i may not be Ms prodigal genius..
but insanity is someone i know very well.
you can say a bestfriend?
maybe even closer than that.

will you run away with me for a day?
just a day..
we'll be 2 idiots doing everything that makes us happy.
no matter what the cost, we will never regret.

come with me before you see her..
| the alter ego | the double walker |
even worse.. before i see her myself.
for then you won't be able to see me anymore.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 4:44 PM

♫|Nostalgia| |Melancholy|♪