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Nov 30, 2010:breathe in.. breathe out..

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Tue-dayy*3o111o* .

Tiuuu~day~ =(
ahahaha. Suicide club.

So sick.. -.-

Me, Amirah & the rest of my kpo classmates
watched SuicideClub during class..
Super sick & cool. hha~

is how they went. haha!

Yesterday some annoying panda..
was being a fcuking panda..
You've got arms & legs.. WALK. ^^V

perangai Vee seyy. haha!

& THANKS ehk A.
yes i love you. sooooo much. -.-
Dammit. Should've logged outta Fb 1st.
ahh well~

actually supposed to go for job training today..
but i'm lacking food & transportation fees..
therefore.. my conclusion is.. sleep. zzz

i've calmed down..
but that doesn't change the impact..
shade has in my life..

Sometimes there aren’t words.
The silence between us is flung wide as an ocean.
But I manage to reach across it, to wrap my arms around him

The Pact - Jodi Picoult

Talking to stars..



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 2:52 PM

Nov 29, 2010:What we can never get back.

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Mon-dayy*29111o* .

Moan-day~ =(
ahahaha. kinky~

Well.. back in school!
saw a lotta hotstuffs on the beach.
Cutestuffz at Bedok! He's a chef!! huhuhuu~
okay.. will stop now. ^^V

Saw a lotta hot babes too~ yummy! ;)
okay honestly.. anyways..
currently using the school's laptop.
tsk. Will only be able to get back mine in about.. 2 weeks?

which means i would be able to sleep properly for a while..
maybe a lotta night outings.. nyahaha!
need to continue DuskyJogs..
rollerblading too.. =(

gosh it's been a while since i last rollerbladed.
really had a nice time at ECP..
i'm a little darker now.. =(
played soccer..swam a lot.. jiwang2.. hahahaha!

uhm.. plans till January?

Working 2 main jobs..
3 days 2 nights chalet on the 12..
Nomadic camp around 16? about 5 days?
-not counting the days following up to the camp for training.-
langkawi trip on the 22nd-26/27th.. ^^V

there's a load more but i kinda can't think right now.
brain's too screwed up on how im gonna juggle my time..
especially for the 3rd PremierPure training.
& i have yet to get back to Wandi on the days i'll be free to work this Dec

Goshh it's random times like this that i miss you Faris..
Been a while eyhh.. a very long while..
funny how fragile life is..
i have so many things to tell you..
& i know you'll hear me out won't you..?
Love you still and always will..

Talking to stars..


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SyidahAinVeeJr.; 12:36 PM

Nov 27, 2010:

♥LaLa Land™
cute stuffz♥
wokey~ me outz!

Dear diary,, Sat-dayy*271o1o* .


well imma go Funan to send my laptop for servicing.
& then it's either i go for the job training at bugis 1st..
or i go EastCoast 1st then bugis then back to EastCoast.
either way.. we're going to have a bbq and overnight there.

i hope i don't get darker than i already am.. =(
hahahahahahaha!!~ swimmy swimmy swim swim!!~
okay fuck i'm high.. nyahaha! mehh~
anyways.. if anything important..

do text me at my number.
if you need to call.. text 1st & i'll get back to ya.
Because the fcuked up thing about SuperTopUp is..
the word "unlimited" only applies to outgoing.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 2:41 PM


♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Fri-dayy*261o1o* .

Technically it's well into Saturday..

i didn't attend class just now.
only reached sch for UT.
fuck my laptop.
UT client couldn't work.. so~ on paper. -.-

i.. yeah.. laughed at super crappy shits a lot.
although i got my cheeks wet for a min or two..
it wasn't long till redbull gave me wingsssssssss!!~
smokity smoke smoke~ laughy laff laughhhhhhhhh~ xD

accompanied shah to duplicate key~
listened to Led Zeppelin on KakIn's Iphone otw home~
watched/listened to the recordings i've had thus far..
also went for a "DuskyJog", me calls it that.
Meaning Jog in dusk, the absence of daylight. Dark-coloured.

click- In your face p. ^^V -here

& you, i reject the offer thank you.
wanna live life the less stressing way.. hahs~
no time for "this and that & a whole lotta ladadeeduddaa~"
ohh gosh i'm so booked till the start of January. -.-zzz



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 4:07 AM

Nov 25, 2010:Drip Drop Drip Drop~

♥LaLa Land™
Staring out of massive glass panels
looking at the rain..=)
i Love ArtBites. ♥

Dear diary,, Thur-dayy*251o1o* .

Does it really matter?

i Love this atmosphere..
it's raining but i feel calm.. & warm..
Like God's washing all the sins away & embracing his children..
whispering.. "Everything's going to be alright.."

imma head to Bugis soon..
Yet another job training.
It just never ends.
But not the same as yesterday though..

I know that you know more than you act like you do.
either way.. i can liveeee~ xD
i've been high these days.
kept all promises. ^^V

p.s. why is he so adorable? hahaha~
No. Nothing about love.
but addiction nonetheless.
haha~ if i could hug youu!!~

Would you rather date a lot or stay faithful to one?
If it's not him then i'd rather have fun. xD



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 5:37 PM


♥LaLa Land™
Cute!!~ gugu gaga?

Dear diary,, Thur-dayy*241o1o* .

recall & reflect~ xD

so.. we went to the National Museum.
Visit loads of exhibitions.
The pompeii exhibit especially..
Imagine.. a whole city buried by volcanic ash in less than a day.

Cool. Budget hp but the pics turned out nice. =/
After that i had lunch with HK before UTP.
So.. UTP~ forgot loads of things for the train-back.
but managed to pull through. ^^V

Had a nap while waiting for the rest to finish their training.
Coz i can't start till they end.
But i didn't realise Shah was there.. xD
Wandi just keeps annoying me. hahahaha~ _|_

After training.. went tampines to buy McD.
After which we waited for a 168 double deck..
And after that.. ate our burgers in the bus.. xP
Then stopped by deck for like what.. 10 mins?

& yeah.. the end. xD
later on.. we have DMA btw..
gotta wake up early. =( aww!!~

Honestly babe you need to just.. chill.
Take a breather for a sec.
Heck maybe skip a class & do something crazy..
It ain't worth stressing over..

& was that directed at me?
don't be sorry.. really.
you've got it the other way around..
just smile & live. ^^V
.you'll get over me.. definitely.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 12:05 AM

Nov 24, 2010:There are no such things as coincidences..

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Wed-dayy*241o1o* .

field trip yay!~ xD

Childish? i can't waste the time i have been allowed to..
Once i get older there will be a day i can't anymore..
Job training at UbiTechPark at 4/5pm.
Contemplating on the moves i'll take.

Weird.. somehow or rather..
we really grow up to fit the meaning behind our names.
There are no such things as coincidences?

Starting to fall sick again..
Need to head off to sleep..
Need to make it for the training coz it's the last for now..
ahh.. damnit.

really.. the fact that you are in my life is a paradox itself.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 12:42 AM

Nov 23, 2010:Hyperactive imagination.

♥LaLa Land™
Paradox is what i am..
As opposed to tight logic.

Dear diary,, Tue-dayy*231o1o* .


We woke at dawn..
& like any other.
but unbeknownst to i..
a realisation so obscure, is to be unravelled.

t'was a swarm of kerns adhered for battle.
thy filled with features smeared of disdain.
intensity breathes o'er the concrete land..
Can we know whence comes this atmosphere?

|-extract from Macbeth ActI,SceneII-|
As whence the sun ’gins his reflection
Shipwrecking storms and direful thunders break,
So from that spring whence comfort seem'd to come
Discomfort swells. Mark, me lady, mark.

Here.. speaks a man of valor.
Last of his kind..
t'was only he..
only he hath painted bliss on his face.

Worthy to be a rebel, for to that..
thou uttered..
what good is scorn?
The multiplying villainies of nature..

Do swarm upon them
& choke their art.
As seemeth by his plight, doubtful it stood.
he was.. to reform the world.

A mark.. for the start of a bright future..
it starts with the sons and daughters..
lending thy hand.. warming thy hearts..
o come ye days.. we be able to speak in comfort once again.

& i..
am self-entertained. once again.
see what you've done to me?
hha.. i've but gone insane with your way of thoughts.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 11:21 AM

Nov 22, 2010:dots..

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Mon-dayy*221o1o* .



i have issues.
can't do anything about it. i swear. i tried.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 12:34 PM

:still content.. so don't be stupid.

♥LaLa Land™
Have to get over you soon
& stop smoking.
starting to get hooked again.

Dear diary,, Sun-dayy*211o1o* .

It just hit me..
The impact of another sorrowful Monday.

Happy birthday Nadya Hersheys.
Syanadz Twinku..
i miss running the streets of Jurong..
but most of all i miss you..

If you people still haven't figured anything out?
There are two characters in my life.
& they're both killing me.
& i can't do anything about it.

no. im never in love with 2 at any given time.
Might as well turn bisexual dontcha think?
More Fun.. More Love.. Less Drama..
in a way..
haha.. this sucks.

Remembering the convo last night at WoodlandsWaterfront.
haiyaiyai.. tsk2.

Vee doesn't fall in Love easily, mind you.
She gets crushes & might think it all to be real..
but she's fast to catch on & wake up to reality.
so if she confidently says she doesn't have feelings for someone..
she never will.
& if she confidently says she's in Love.. it's definitely real.

but then who gives a damn what she says..
she's a terribly good liar, she is.
she can make you believe it if she wanted to.

do you honestly believe?
do you even know any part of the truth?
who's to say all she's been spurting out were lies.
No. im not emo fcuk. im still keeping my promise. =)

Dude, if you're in love with someone..
Go for it. Who's to stop you.
just don't stray any other direction and get everyone worked up for ya.
& get out of her life please.

i'm done.
chill.. still happy. ^^V
I just can't find the right words for anything anymore.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 1:04 AM

Nov 21, 2010:Flame Awards '1o

♥LaLa Land™
Just one week Vee.
Then go back to being a good gurl.
but keep the happy. =)

Dear diary,, Sat-dayy*211o1o* .

Technically Sunday.
AWESOME night! xD

on a roll avoiding Emo-Nausity~ ^^V
Sorry Shyazanna for stealing your trademark emoticon.
Just got back home at oo45+hrs..
Left Woodlands Waterfront at oo15hrs. Cabbed. xD

The day started sleepy.
Niece & Nephews super adorable~ xD
plus energetic & annoying.. BUT adorable nonetheless.
Left at noon to get dressed & ready for Flame awards.

Someone at the block beside mine wanted to commit suicide.
As usual they had the balloon thingy out & the officers acting spiderman.
honestly hate how people don't treasure life..
i wish life could be transfered.
You don't want it then you could've given it to him. -.-

The jump didn't happen AGAIN.
it wasn't the 1st attempt by the same person.

Anyways.. Flame awards.. UBER FUNTASTIQUE.
All of us acting like wannabe major hollywood stars~

The red carpet.. A Load'a pictures.. MORE pictures..
Tatoos~ Suits & Makeup~ The actual award show..
Replug being replug the Kechohrables..

hha! the fuck? i'm never talking lyddat again.
i hope.
Dinner was.. not half bad.. =) yummy2~ xD
after that was the after party!!~

What is better than hot people?
Hot people dancing SEXY SMEXY.
Replug bringing the party with us & grinding the dancefloor.
Always a hot encounter on the dancefloor. ;3

You know it when the hottie's there smiling..
stealing glances on the dancefloor.. ;P
hha! okay whutt? skip~ DillyDance was rated TOP.
 Then WanCai gave some of us a lift to WoodlandsWaterfront.
Actually climbed the damn web in heels! AWESOME!

Other than that.. a lot of laughter..
a lot of stories.. scary and/or humorous~
temptations.. =/
hha!!~ and there we were.. FABULOUS..
The night was ours.

It's not that you're not good enough.
It's that we ain't got 'it' or we would've long ago.
& is it feasible to imagine you walking up to have a chat?
plus it isn't that favored among your people.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 2:18 AM

Nov 20, 2010:blinded to seeing you.. invisible.

♥LaLa Land™
♥barely breathing.

Dear diary,, Fri-dayy*2o1o1o* .

Technically it's very much Saturday.
Loads of happenings today..

There's being unhelpful in Entrepreneurship..
there's the relief facilitator..
there's.. the usual hang out at lvl 2..
there's.. me starting to get back into my bad habits..

Also.. watching |porn/sex documentary| & |gore|..
reserving tix for MokshaMudra?..
Getting caught in a super unexpected downpour at night..
while otw puff2. i NEEDED the wash.. x3

And then there's watching the actual MM concert..
falling asleep through "autumn" because i was too tired..
Walking to deck AND decking..
& chatting with Clayton on msn before the movie.

so.. the HarryPotter movie we booked was on the oo35hr slot.
Scary how the cinema looks at night.
 Reviews? it was okay.. won't release any spoilers. =)
only got back to the woodlands hse a few mins ago.

Face the fact.
Neither of us are that naive.
i just won't admit defeat yet.


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SyidahAinVeeJr.; 4:17 AM

Nov 19, 2010:Mercy.. i need not. Adieu..

♥LaLa Land™
♥still alive.

Dear diary,, Thur-dayy*191o1o* .

Thursday & well into Friday.
asa!~ Vee you genius you! haha.
the fcuk. ahh well..
anticipated, erased.. back on track.

ironic.. just like i told you A.
when i get those Fortelling Dreams & DejaVus..
i get hit twice as hard.

died twice roday..
Ain did. Vee is still keeping her promise.
staying alive.. smiling.. even if it kills her summor.
Coz she's AWESOME. hha.. well..

tell you what..
imma share a LiL secret..
im actually a.. guy!! *gasp*
haha~ enjoying my Life & having hot gay partners.

what else on my list?
Next over Malboro.
|Definitely. i missed this feeling.|
a lil X action.
|Lookin' forward..|
and a whole lot of days to run the streets.
|My sole attention wasted on you, darling, Love.|

you are love..
someone i never expected to fall for.
someone i'd hate to feel for because everyone else does too.
you are love..
a splendid company.. my laughing gas & nuttiness galore..
it's been a pleasure to have fallen in Love with someone like you..
give me time..
i'll step aside and erase everything i held on for..
& alas.. my final bid.. i Love you.. i sincerely do it's true.

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SyidahAinVeeJr.; 12:28 AM

Nov 16, 2010:zzz~

♥LaLa Land™
♥define bitch.

Dear diary,, Tue-dayy*161o1o* .

we're into tuesday.

Initially something sparked my inspiration to write a
story of guns and damselz and serial killers in dark pebbled roads.
now i just wanna sleep.

my mistake.. it wasn't cognitives just now.
NewMediaComms and more HTML CSS crap.
quite fun actually. slowly hypnotising me into the world of codes.
feel so comfy & boyish today~

got lazy picking outfits so settled with a huge Tee.
hair was just the usual.
wanted to bring along a pillow but.. ohh well~

And A. you'd be glad to know i keepin' my promise..
Livin' Like a Seventeen.
Making my own elation with self-fulfilling prophecies..
still have yet to finish the task at hand though.. need to fix something.

Clubbing at Artbites? haha~
when the lights suddenly turned off.
hmm.. Saturday.. what should we go as?
VicePres. says let's just suit up! matrix! haha~

i don't want another pretty face..
i don't want just anyone to hold..
i don't want my love to go to waste..
i want you and your beautiful soul..



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 1:02 AM

♫|Nostalgia| |Melancholy|♪