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Jul 31, 2011:

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Sun-dayy*31o711* .

A bit sad to see my brother go..
Wanted him to stick around a bit. =(



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 1:00 PM


♥LaLa Land™
Well.. the beach was nice.

Dear diary,, Sat-dayy*3oo711* .

But then anything about the beach is nice.
SADeaf 2o'11.

Me, SharBear & his sis being the opening no.
Problem with the speakers so Efa sang acapella.
She was nervous so she rushed through the song.
Made me nervous so i signed a lotta crap. OMG. haha!

Stuck around to help out with the speakers issue.
Originally the speakers given, when music is playing, mic signals turn off.
Vice versa. & so we brought in another speaker to play the music.
Since it can't be sync-ed we had to plug it in to Nisa's laprop.

Skip the details.. had loads' a fun. Met Fadley again.
I knew he looked familiar. Turns out he's my senior but..

I dunno when & where exactly i met him. Seriously. hmm..
Other than laughing some asses off & dancing retardedly.. CRAP DANCE!


Nice chats otw home.
Lrt with ?Syaiful was it?

Bumped into Zan otw home..
Had a talk.. hopefully in the future he makes good choices.


Hopefully in the future me too..



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 3:40 AM

Jul 29, 2011:

♥LaLa Land™
Bloody hell.

Dear diary,

I talk/type too much.
Vee! Can'th evfen typfe propferly you shuddapff ahh!

Bipolar Bitch.
Crazy girl.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 6:46 PM


♥LaLa Land™
Nice to have a smokin' buddy.

Dear diary,, Fri-dayy*29o711* .

Thank God.

"I don't know.. I just think you deserve someone better than him.
I don't know if it's coz she's a friend who just cares for me..
Or fact that she saw him with her.. that she's not an asskisser.

& isn't rash enough to make stupid decisions..
but God.. let's hope she's right.

Had a smoke before heading home with Karthik.
Early home because of that shit-assed Dreamweaver i need to complete.
Urghh. It's a Friday for goodness sake. -.-
I feel so miserable.

"Life is too exciting.

"Maybe i should just quit school. I mean what for exactly??
"Ehh don't lah. At least get a diploma. You can do whatever you want with it.
"Yeah. Exactly. What? What can i do with a NewMedia diploma?
When i told mama i was scared because I've got no direction..

Mama said "Just find a job & do whatever you want with the money.
If you wanna travel or stuff. I'll still support you till you're married.
1. Married. Pfft.

2. What she doesn't get is.. for how long? Only if she's there. What if?

It's not a subject I want to talk about but really.
That's if she's still there? What if she's not?
Forced to stand on my own 2 feet.
I haven't got a fucking clue what I'm to do with my life.

Karthik said "What do you want to do? Think of something.
Go home, clear your head & think of something. The cafe?
How are you going to achieve that? Work with enough pay.
How are you going to do that. Maybe not Sg but overseas?


Just clear your head & think about it. You'll find something I'm sure.
How the hell do you feel so calm ah babe?

I don't even know if I'm too young to think bout this coz there's only



If not counting the rest of the semester.
Gotta do our FYP shit. Go for some internship.

God knows what else there is.. get stuck with a corporate designing job?
Where'll i be when I'm 2o? What'll i do then? Where'll i go?

How to survive?
Thinking. Too. Much.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 6:37 PM

Jul 28, 2011:Dragonfly tree.

♥LaLa Land™
's gonna be another loong & narrative post.

Dear diary,, Thur-dayy*28o711* .

Almost the end of July. Didn't attend lesson.
Woke up sick & after this afternoon's whole episode i..

had a flat out "fuck it. attitude.
Desperately tried to learn a new song with loud guitarists in the background.
Not that i've got anything against them but it didn't work out that well.

bloody hell. *RonWeasley accent

Nashh & his friend at the library cubicles..
decided I'd go for a smoke.
Awesome day..
such a waste.

Dragonfly tree.
Found a new favourite spot in RP.

Beautiful tree decorated by dragonflies.
& i take a drag........

Take note.. don't be hasty.
There isn't a need to burn it fast.

Just inhale as much as the 1st buzzing in your head.

Then let it flow before taking in another drag.

But not till you burn the stick.
Don't wait too long. Just at the right moment. Make it last.
Skies were blue & clouds ever as puffy.
A bottle of lychee tea never tasted as sweet.

Met up with Nash again & borrowed a book under his name.
11 August. I'll be sure to remember that. =/
Replaced my ezlink too often that I needed to get it updated at OSC.

All that before goin' for Replug meeting.

Met up with DarDar after that.
Headed down to the Jetty. Felt so nice..
"You should be honoured I brought you here.

"Yeah i am seriously. Thank you.

Nyahaha! Wee~ I'm awesome for knowing these kind of places.
Saw huge birds flying over the surface of the sea.
Sat on a boat that rocks everytime another boat drives in to dock.
Schools of silver-coloured reflective fishes jumping out of the water.

Cute doggy with a bad foot just resting on the tip of the planks.
Boys fishing and swimming in the deep waters.
The sound of songs from our phones.
& a fiery sunset. Awesome.


"Well this was fun~
"Jyeahh it is! Coz i'm awesome! =)
Told 'im bout hw i switch frm callin' him Virajmani to FangYi frm time to time.

How my friends relate his name to some indian guy. LOL!


Talking about turning 80 in the bus back..
"If I died.. would you have visited my grave?

"I dunno man coz i've never been to a muslim grave but if i was 8o
I'd have forgotten my alphabets maybe. Ceeee!!~ hahaha!

Pushing him off the seat.
Heavy ass almost sat on me. _|_

Seriously today was insanely fun. Oh yeah!

DarDar asked me to blog about something..


Just now in the bus on the way there.. the driver let the door open.
In the middle of nowhere where there isn't anyone in sight. Twice.
"The dude was mumbling to himself when he opened the door.
"You didn't see? ;P

WooHh~ & today is a thuuuursdayy~ 

*retarded attempt-to-scare face
"& hey what date is it today?
"28 why?
"WooHh~ it's the twenty-eighthhh~

After that i met mama for dinner. =)



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 9:38 PM

Jul 27, 2011:Honestly.. didn't know where i could possibly fit in.

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Wed-dayy*27o711* .

Another book read. Only i feel like this one left me hangin'..
Like sayin' "This isn't your story." Pfft.

Well.. Originally i planned to start today's story with..
"The day was just awesome! Though I was sick & freezing.
Met up with Nashh in the morn at the bustop before..

having a nice McDonald's breakfast!

Buuut~ yeah. Anyway.. it did start awesome.
Not only was I late, so was Karthik whom i bumped into with Nash.
Even better.. when godbro ZulFaqar's no. popped up on my incoming.
"Hey, remember me?  -So says.................... Adib!

Just like what he said.. been a while dude. What? 2 years?
"God I missed you..

Aww.. looking at him is like looking out of a window to my past.
Oh Good Lord the crazy things we did.

Like when we played Parkour in the mosque jumping from heights.
Though we prolly shouldn't have done that.. =/
Or breaking into the roof of the mosque.

Though we prolly shouldn't have done that either.

When he was with Tasha & shit happened.
When i did my best to help stop the shit from leaving damage.
His confession. My ignorance.
& then things changed & he changed & one day disappeared.

Interesting to see him back with a story to tell..
How his story inside was.
How much 2 years can change people.
Said i've changed but i wouldn't know since i've been there all my life.

Well.. as long as it's in a good way. =/
One of the rare people who call me Ain.
Showed me a lot of cool places in YewTee.

A lot of staircases but seriously.. stop complaining.

After that I headed for home to put down my stuff.
After which i headed back down to Civics to meet Yaya & SharBear.
Practiced a bit of handsigning..
Oh i shan't imagine how it'll be like on the day..
nerve-racking i'm sure.

Rode a cab down to Singapore Poly to see Kak Ana in her cast. =(
A lot of new things there.. I see a lot of wheels & hardcore rollerbladers.
But no freestylers. =/ Not slalom no. Just a lot of norms.
We had KFC for dinner before the four of us headed down to BktTimah.


By four i mean me, yaya, Kak Ana & her guy ?Ray.
It's his birthday today~ So yeahh~ hahaha!
Ce~lebration time come on! =)
That lasted till about 10:15?

that's pretty much it if you don't count me feeling queasy on the bus.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 11:41 PM

Jul 26, 2011:

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Tues-dayy*26o711* .

Suay TTM man. Hahaha.
We're the group of kids that always gets faulty equipment from RPRC.

Yeahh.. we are.

But ohh well~
Not so bad a day ahh..
  Overall still fun. Came to school late..

Because God knows i LOVE going to school late.
Because it's that awesome feeling you get when the bus is friggin' empty.
But anyway~ After school we had Replug meeting..
Met up with GS for a while..

Then went to watch Brass5.
Really awesome.. The proud sound of their instruments.

The last arrangement especially.
Incredible Mission 5.

It's a mix between..
"The incredibles theme song,
"Mission impossible

& "Take 5 jazz number.

Really Fabu.
After that.. had dinner with "AssHole.
GS being the ass & Ricky being the Hole.
Bloody can't keep your hands off my hoodie issit? hahaha!

Decked awhile. The many names i was called.
Warren going "Ehh Ain! -.-
Scharenguivel & Estrop. LoL.
& the most famous question.. "Why Vee? -.-

Yes.. well.. Wonderful night. =) Wonderful night..
& Danny & his friends..
Ohh Good Lord.

Nice meeting you people?

Touching his flat stomach. Proud of you babe. -.-
Switching shoes..
Infamous stories of reality guy2 gayhood..
& all the ever so weird fondling. ;) HAHA.

'da fcuk.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 11:05 PM

Jul 25, 2011:

♥LaLa Land™
Over it. You.

Dear diary,, Mon-dayy*25o711* .

Need to get new earrings A.S.A.P. like seriously.
Maybe chain earrings. I miss wearing those.

Careful. I'm spiteful these days.
It's to the maximum but i'll only let it last a while.
Just until you get the picture.
Don't pick a fight.

You'll lose your head.

Drawing class today.
God knows where Aqilah gets her inspiration to draw everyday.
Me: "Where do you get it huh..?
A: "It's because i like to draw-

Me: *mumbles "Ohh damnit that answer. -.-
A: "You can draw what~?

Me: "But i don't feel the want to though..
Empty vessel.

Sorry D......... or faci.. if you felt my silent angst.
Facilitator: "Why are you so angsty today?
Me: "Because I'm angsty everyday.

I had a reason this time. I care for you, my friend.
You gave me the face while i was showing you care & respect..
I did neither deliberately nor accidentally do anything wrong today.
Don't step on my toes. I'll break your fingers.

It's the old Vee now.
& she wants to let everyone know..
Limit goes a long way with her. A long way..
That goes out to you to. This is the ugly I never meant you to see.

"I'm a teenager.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 9:47 PM


♥LaLa Land™
Thank you.. =)

Dear diary,, Sun-dayy*24o711* .

thank you so much.

For today/night..
& everything else.
Go to her..



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 12:16 AM

Jul 24, 2011:Yuna.. =)

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Sat-dayy*23o711* .

I'd rather stay inside than being out tonight.
Just sipping coffee with nothing to look forward to..

Savouring my solitude..
No one will ever know you.. the way i do..

In high definition, I'm thinking of you..
With my desposition, I'm losing my cool..
With my everything I'd give anything to be with you..

& I will try my best to let it subside..
I'm letting go without taking any part of something where my heart truly was
& no one will ever see you the way my eyes do..

In high definition, I'm thinking of you..
With my desposition, I'm losing my cool..
With my everything I'd give anything to be with you..

In high definition, I'm thinking of you..
With my desposition, I'm losing my cool..
With my everything I'd give anything to be with you..



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 1:07 AM

Jul 22, 2011:

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Fri-dayy*22o711* .

Happy birthday Aqilah..
May you forever smile that lovely smile of yours..

Always brightening up the class with you maniacal laughter.
Can be recognised from a mile away.. =) Hahaha..
You'll make me miss that hysterical laughter when the semester's over.
A fellow sister from another mother.

"Just don't get yourself hurt k Vee?
says my classmate.
I'd slit my wrists before I let that happen again.
I'd slit my wrists. Not this time.. no more.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 1:30 PM


♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,,

Bismillahir rahmanir rahim.
Pejam mata. Buka mata hati.

Subhanallah, walhamdulillah, wala ilaha illallahu wallahu akbar.

Wala hawla wala quwwata illa billah..



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 1:08 AM

Jul 21, 2011:

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Wed-dayy*2oo711* .

I had it all planned! Blueprints!
....... all.. gone.. to waste.

Friggin' tests!!



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 12:14 AM

Jul 19, 2011:

♥LaLa Land™
shh vee..

Dear diary,, Tue-dayy*19o711* .

It's alright.. Everything's gonna be alright.
Dear God......

Woke up from another morose dream.
The word couldn't even begin to describe it
Saw how hysterical my parents were at the loss of their eldest.
Why? Had i not dreamt that, I guess I wouldn't know really..
How much he means to me.

My hatred completely wiped off of him with just a dream.
After all he did to me.
The anger i had because of him.
The desperation I felt for wanting him to disappear.

Vanished completely.
Gone without trace like a tear to sand.
Once leaving the eye.. rolling down cheeks..
Hits the ground & never the same one twice.

Too many things clouding my head once calm hits after a storm leaves.
Apart from the thoughts that have engraved itself in cement unpermitted.
A permanent residency. Illegal immigrants. Or were they always there..?
I wonder. Just a whole lot of nomads. Always there.. just never noticed.

Yet again.. running wild is my trail of thoughts.
Meaningless you should assume. It's true. =/
Forever irkingly painful as i worthlessly get them to stop..
More I try, more they fight back. Effects of an unfinished bottle of antibiotics.

Futile words.
Something's.. A billion things are stabbing my heart a million times over.
Butterflies everywhere. Vomitted out & exploding with luminous, vibrant colour.
& i died not saying a word.. to what matters.

Colourful? Yes. But,
Not one meaningful word.

Oh my dear God..
 oh my my my.. my my my my..
Stupid is i, & how i've missed you.
I swear I've missed you.

& i bite my tongue. Hold back the gloss.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 10:44 PM

♫|Nostalgia| |Melancholy|♪