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May 31, 2010:Once upon a time..

♥once upon a time..
isn't really a happy phrase.
coz there's a start..
& there's TheEnd.

Dear diary,, Mon-dayy *31o51o* .

but this isn't a fairytale.
& nothing we do now would end our story.
the world is like a stage..
more than just a stage.
it's that dimmed puppet theatre kind.
& the people in it aren't just merely players.
they put on masks & fictitious facades.
thinking no one will guess their paradox.
living life each day with that heavy burden.

but some would know better.
they know these poor souls for who they are..
love them for who they are.
regardless of the people realising it.
to my dear bLs..
don't try so hard to smile..
you have loads of friends who care for you genuinely..
don't hurt yourselves acting like you just don't care.

we have our entries & exits.
soon you'd have to start a new chapter.
so when you leave this one. don't leave with any regrets.
cry if you have to.
scream if you want to.
the tears once shed will never come back.
the screams never twice heard.

not anymore..

if we miss this chance..
we might never get it again..


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SyidahAinVeeJr.; 4:10 PM

May 30, 2010:i don't know how to say it in a way you'll undestand.

Dear diary,, Sun-dayy *30o51o* .

yay! camp!
ohh so tired!

eff my internet connection.
need to buy wireless.

no. you don't understand.
i WISH you did but you don't.
i'm NOT imagining things anymore!
why do you keep getting the wrong idea?!
& i can't tell you anything in a way you'll understand.
so i give.

fcuk this. i REALLY don't know how to tell you.
i KNOW the fairytale is over.
& i KNOW already. it stopped.
sigh2.. tut2..

believe me or not.
Not everything is what you assume it to be.
& yes what she said is right.
there's no turning back.
why do you guys keep thinking i'm oblivious.

but we need to pass.
so if that's it then i'll talk like normal.
it takes 2 hands to clap.
so if you guys'll take my input than everything else i'll accept.


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SyidahAinVeeJr.; 6:50 PM

May 29, 2010:da vinci~

♥wait no. saw the world in heels' shoes.
cherries got problems too..
Dear diary,, Sat-dayy *29o51o* .

OCD ' ' plaque ' '[plague] dominating the world.
mostly affects people who are CAAM.

LOVE bLs Nights!
haha. Meetings!!~
oppz! & bLbros.
Sorry Zai. =PP
MatildaHouse!!~ O.o||

SCREW WireLeSs connections.
& ♥DaDa!~
went polyclinic just now.
sucked 75% of my soul. O.o
haha! what so funny? -_-||
yeah. but at least im more cognizant to some than some.
What if..
They put heels on a horse..? O.o||

see.. the world is a funny place.
full of funny people.
& or EPIC FAILs..

but it's not all jokes all the time..
sometimes.. it's the real deal.

LOVE seventeen’s song..
slalu mengalah..

you can't control this.
we'll see only when this life ends.


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SyidahAinVeeJr.; 6:28 PM

May 27, 2010:Life.. what's precious.. what's important..

♥wish times like this would last forever...
true friends that are always with us..
we love them so much it'll tear us apart if we ever lost them..

Dear diary,, Thur-dayy *17o51o* .

Learnt a lot of things today..
My ex|-wallet| is..

what's worse..
my baby China died.
he drowned.
Now I have a new babe.
but he love's pink.
eff touchscreen.

happy.. crazy.. wacky!!
breakfast to dinner!~
too much cam-whoring.
too much crapping.
too much reminiscing.
wish i could upload all the pics but..
OMG the number.

hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. =))
LoLz yaya!

&.. i give you ten seconds to cry.
coz after that..
you better smile.
or i'll stab you to death. =P
coz you can do so much more..
it's not impossible.
it's I'M POSSIBLE!!~
jia you.. don't be afraid..
all you have to do is have faith..
you're supposed to be happier..
guardien angels watching over us all..
yours is paying special attention..

she's beautiful...
soft honey blonde hair.. snowy complexion.. rosy cheeks..
a gentle smile..
a gentle gaze..
with white wings so soft & light..
she cradles you in your sleep..
in her arms she whispers to you..
everything will get better..
her halo lighting up the darkest fears in your heart.
lighting up your darkness..
she's doing her best. why aren't YOU? 



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 9:26 PM

:CrapNeSs Crew~ =))

Dear diary,, Thur-dayy *17o51o* .

huhu!~ FUN!!
after sch ytd~>
Rj stress but wireless.
then strings came.
the guitar is my wife & i played her G string. O.o||
Shah's an arse.
then keys!~

key to my heart. wuu!~
followed by crappy GayNeSs..
then KFC..
Mashed potato|Maggot sauce|
NEVER eating KFC with Kai, Shah & the gang ever again.
After KFC went arcade with Kai and his "boifee"
haha! not satified with just 3 rounds of games.
Then came GAY-ing inside the MRT. O.o||
Must do this more often!~


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SyidahAinVeeJr.; 10:44 AM

May 26, 2010:Coolness..

Dear diary,, Wed-dayy *26o51o* .

exposed. =/
but it's ok. Coz i need this.

hopeful.. expectant..

Learnt my lesson.
don't keep doing the wrong things.
takes just one.

I've stopped.
it's humorous.
왜그래 너??

I'm sorry. You don't deserve the things you got.

that makes 둘.
애 같은..
난 바보라서 그런가봐..
정말 미안해..

the coolness of the word.


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SyidahAinVeeJr.; 6:01 PM


Dear diary,, Wed-dayy *26o51o* .

Want to go decking again today..
yesterday was fun!
felt like i was among fam.
Though they are very lost & confused friends. huhuhu!~


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SyidahAinVeeJr.; 8:34 AM

May 25, 2010:Twilight..

Dear diary,, Tues-dayy *25o51o* .

to E24A..
seriously apologized a lot.
but you don't have to forgive me.
but please don't drag her into this.
it really isn't what you think.
her msg has NOTHING to do with anyone in our class.
she has her own problems.
don't assume those kind of things just because of me.
childish as i may be i'm not this..
sincerely sorry.
if you want to confront me openly i'll accept.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 8:42 AM

May 24, 2010:so we're cool.

Dear diary,, Mon-dayy *24o51o* .

Must start to put in subtitles in my blog next time.
like i said.. i'm sorry..
sorry5 sincerely truly..
i'm retarded.
& i know i'm doing stupid things..
& no i'm STILL not out to ruin your effing life.
& we can never be exactly the same..
but you'd be amazed!~ =))



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 10:26 PM

:retarded. piano not helping..

Dear diary,, Mon-dayy *24o51o* .

im retarded.
people reading this.. i know you agree.
Laugh & ill make YOU retarded.
im a bloody coward lahh sial.

there's a lot of things i wanna scream but i need to at least..
TRY to revert time.
yeah. i know im childish. O.o||

BUT. goshh that was unexpected. & shocking.
bloody took me by surprise & i don't know why it became like that.
& i thought everything would cool down on Wednesday..
i see the Facis found a new hobby.

am at a loss what to do.
guilty for making the atmosphere thick.
sorry for making him that way.
SERIOUSLY how the HELL di it end up that way?
wtf is wrong with lady luck?
walao.. was gonna do something on wednesday.
maybe if it doesn't work..
pull the dude aside & have a HTHTalk.

why so suay??
i didn't do this n purpose.
reactions just came accidentally.
was SO not prepared.
but he'll never know.
coz he thinks im dead set to ruin his effing life.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 9:50 AM

May 23, 2010:♥Confession sessions..

closer to heaven..
Dear diary,, Sun-dayy *23o51o* .

Back from ConfessionSessions @WCP[WestCoast]..
said whatever we wanted to say to the waves..
Now all the whispers are washed away by the ocean.
woke up almost till noon.
1/3 bLs came to visit & help with spring cleaning.
talked about stuffs.
Dj:"why talk behind people's backs when you can confront each other face to face to resolve the problem?"
me: "coz they choose to pick a fight."
skip that. nights at WCP are nice~

over here.. we left all our problems & present reality..
& talked about our future & dreams..
what i've been desiring since God knows when..
opening a cafe with everything in it..
photography[places i've been..]..
fine art[sketches of faces i've met throughout my life..]
fab music[emotions i've recorded]..
colourful fragrance[flowers to bring life to the haven]..
sweets[my bestfriend hot cocoa always & forever]..
& last but not least..
White walls to wash away all the sins..
leaving nothing but blissful serenity & hints of purity..

YES. i'm a Dreamer.
i'll MAKE it HAPPEN.♥



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 11:37 PM

May 21, 2010:stop it.

Dear diary,, Fri-dayy *21o51o* .

EFF my internet connection. i have no time to do my LEO.
& just came back from guitar ensemble. =))
im LEARNING. =))
ahahahaha! *tao-gay"

& seriously..
i'll change everything on wednesday.
you're really not helping the situation.
& i bloody apologised right?! =_=||
wth do you want anyway?
& i thought i was indecisive.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 11:28 PM

May 20, 2010:♥Finally seeing things clearly..

Dear diary,, Thur-dayy *20o51o* .

so addicted to ♥KissFrom aRose by Seal~
so.. so.. ADDICTIVE!!~ =))

Replug camp on o1-o3o61o..
but my band didn't got in..
Not as nice as i thought it'll feel. =((

still wondering if what happened ytd was my imagination. O.o
but.. it doesn't matter..
coz it's now or never..
& i keep getting held back the longer i wait.
we're not moving forward.. he ain't the one..
deep down i know..

ive finally seen things clearly..
gonna have to right my wrongs..
erase my mistakes..
im sorry.. sincerely.. for vexing you.. everything stupid ive done till now.
should've not changed my mind 2 wks ago..
should've really let go then & there..

if it's ok with you..
let's be friends again..
just like last time..
nothing happened.. we're just us..
we'll be fine..
we'll be happier..
our lives will be much better.
you have a good life kay?
ill be fine.. coz im stronger now & ive got angels watching my back.
& you have yours..
& we'll be each others'..
turning back time..

im sorry.. im truly madly deeply sincerely sorry.
for turning you into who you are now.
for making us awkward.
for not listening to you..
you're right..
im feeling bloody guilty right now. sorry.. =(
very sorry.. please welcome me with a smile..
coz im not as strong as i want to be.
let's go crazy together. =)


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SyidahAinVeeJr.; 8:47 AM

May 19, 2010:Stupid Wednesday..

Dear diary,, Wed-dayy *19o51o* .

the in intuition thing?
was right.
expected it would happen.
& had to go home early just now.
The pain was unbearable.
have to go for some scans during the holidays.
if not..

seriously sorry to my team.
don't know if i contributed at all..
hope next week will be better..
i know i've messed up.

ohh.. & wonder if he touche my lappy or i unconciously scrolled down.
must be my imagination.. O.o||



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 7:49 PM

May 18, 2010:Sick.. =((

Dear diary,, Tues-dayy *18o51o* .

will be midNIGHT in 15.
feeling so lightheaded im floating on clouds.
don't like this effed up feeling.

got an intuition.
something bad gonna happen tomorrow.
coz i feel suffocated today.
anxious, nervous, tensed, god knows what'll happen.
let it not be an omen.
i don't mind if my predictions are wrong.
let tomorrow pass with ease..



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 11:46 PM

:What do you want from me?

Dear diary,, Tues-dayy *18o51o* .

Coz you don't wanna pull yourself "down" to my level.
Smart dude.
Then "torture" yurself.
be healthy. be happy.
go fly.
You're not doing yourself a favor by being grounded to this shit.
Coz you know you ain't never gonna do nothing.
I'll be fine..
The worst mistake you made was respond..

To my GuardianAngel,,
God.. Thank you for saving me..
you as a devil?
epic FAIL. =))
Thanks for not being sick of me & my crap.
Try harder? not goin' to. i wouldn't want you to find me sickening.
Seriously Love SpammingSessions...
Relieved my stress enough..
Very much jealous of how carefree you make the world seem.
Love the piano sessions & the chinese songs. ♥
someone i've known for a short time has become someone i don't wanna lose for a lifetime.



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 8:46 AM

May 15, 2010:`~* CrapNeSs on a SaturdayyMorning.

Dear diary,, Sat-dayy *15o51o* .

1o am on a Saturdayy Morning..
was a tad late..
saw him there on the piano sitting..
& i smiled.

What else is there..?
there in lovely warmth-filled light..
while waiting for strings..
we had voices & keys~
Love my band.♥

When strings came..
delighted with more smiles..
we started to entertwine..
Music is the poetry of wind..♥



SyidahAinVeeJr.; 6:52 PM

♫|Nostalgia| |Melancholy|♪