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Jan 29, 2011:SKIP this one people.. i just feel like preaching.

♥LaLa Land™

Dear diary,, Sat-dayy*29o111* .


"I think you're someone who can understand me."
So I've heard..
Then what about me?
I keep trying to understand everyone but then who's for me?
Am i selfish? I'm sorry but it's unfair.
I don't act like im there. I listen. I understand. I want to help where i can.
But it doesn't go both ways.


& what are you looking at exactly?
or more like WHERE are you looking at?
If you really are so pathetic as to use the "L" word all the time.
"Love" this. "Love" that. "Love" him. "Love" her.
Do you know what it really means? That word.
So many definitions. So many ways to act upon.
But nobody's truly got it right on purpose. Stumble on maybe..

Let me ASK YOU.
Who's the 1st person you think of when you hear the damned word.

Is your heart beating faster? Do you feel the butterflies.
Or like you've been punched in the gut?
Or 've been stabbed in the stomach?
If not that's not Love fool.

Imagine never seeing her again.
Never talking with him again.
Never hearing her giggle.
Never seeing his smile.
Does it hurt? Like you've been slapped.
Like you've been hit by a trailer that lost control crushing you downhill.

People i neglect to tell you this, of which i have experience too many times.
Love is apparently about timing.
If you don't grab it then & there, you're gonna lose it.

So just SHUT UP. Don't complain or anything.

It was your fault in the first place.
In fact, it was mine.
I just couldn't figure it out in time.
It feels almost like before, when i didn't know how to treasure.
The meaning.. behind that cursed word i just didn't.
& lost the one that may be the only one who will always..
mean that much no, most to me.

Completely W.A.S.T.E.D.
well.. there goes another one.

Don't get me wrong.. this might not be MY rude awakening my friend.
It could be yours.
For ironically, i woke up years ago.
Slapped in the face i was.
i just had too many barriers to overcome.
too many obstacles to jump over.
too many walls to break.

i didn't make it in time.
We didn't establish trust. Didn't build the basis of understanding.
& lacked the foundation to build a mere anything that would hold up.
He didn't trust me, & i couldn't trust him enough to explain.
We did not entertain.

Just Another Overly Dramatic Play
on stage in a dark theatre that has now been enclosed behind majestic velvet red curtains.

Think about it.


SyidahAinVeeJr.; 7:02 PM

♫|Nostalgia| |Melancholy|♪