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Nov 7, 2011:Damn it.



LaLaLand
Oh God.. It's me.


Dear diary,, Sun-dayy o751111*.



November'sNacreousClouds. 
Sunday.
I'm that girl who's either too loud or too quiet.
The bipolar attitude adjusment needing girl who is super confused.


I'm the girl who surprisingly can make friends easily & is open-minded
but have best/close friends I'll never tell most things to except random crap.
I'll always be that girl. Never the favourite option I guess.
Very much confused of who I am & definitely alone in this.


I feel very empty & numb.
I can't depend on anyone.
Used to think it was my strength. Truthfully it's my weakness.
Becoming more & more dependent. I've really gotta leave this country.



You know.. it's not like I don't realize these things.
I'm nothing beautiful inside or out. I think about it every second.
These kind of things I don't exaggerate.
& I guess people'd think I seek attention beating myself up about it.



The amount I'd pay to not feel this fugged. Why can't I help it??



Come on man. There're so many things I want to say but end up not saying.
My wants aren't the ' I'd like to 's.. it's the ' I'm dying to 's.
It hurts when I can't. Not because it's impossible.
But I find it unnescessary & yeahh...........



The things that I actually do end up saying are just bullshit.
Things that aren't gonna reach anyone. Like murmurs in some market.
Worthless, nonsensical & completely gonna amount to negligent in value.
It's because I bloody think too much that all I can do is supernova.



The one day.. when I die; they're gonna fake some tears & forget about me.
It won't take long before everyone forgets & move on. It hurts.
That I'm so certain about this.Mind-numbing pain & the heat in my eyes.
But in the end all these words are going to be wasted again.



I don't really matter do I?
I dare you to lie to my face.
That kind of digits in friends numerically for nuts.
& it fucking fucking hurts.



& I'm freaking out! Because I still am anot saying what I need to.
My words shall fall on deaf ears.. I'm gonna repeat the same shit again.
Talk crap in a hundred more posts in future. Stay insecure; burst my eyes out.
Feel sucky & fucked up & completely worthless. Friends..



What is it that I really need? That I should do right now?






TalkingToStars. 



LiLMiss[V]exatious

SyidahAinVeeJr.; 12:23 AM



♫|Nostalgia| |Melancholy|♪