didn't know he was similar to me.
well.. sort of similar.
the desire to cut ties with everyone & start afresh..
live a new life..
a lot of peace, tranquil & happiness..?
but i guess the difference lie in one thing..
his wish is too plain.
i want to travel..
meet new people..
go new places..
taste new weathers..
learn new cultures..
really..
how happy would i be if that were to come true..
i'm scared things might happen to me in a foreign land..
& i'm also scared that things would change too much back home.
scared if i leave some people behind..
they won't be there when i come back.
or i guess i'm just scared they'd leave me behind.
but more over.. i'm scared of staying too stagnant.
doing the same things..
hanging out & painting plastic smiles with the same crowds..
always having to try & do the thing that to them is "right"..
even worse is putting in one's best efforts
but still losing out in the end.
i just keep sacrificing too much for things that are
"worthwhile" for too little a short time.
& i know i can't help but keep doing that
to be polite.
but the problem doesn't lie in that..
instead.. i'm scared that if this goes on..
i'll learn to hate too many people.
no one likes to hate..
it's not exactly the best hobby
& it takes up a lot of time
& consumes a lot of energy..
it's just exhausting honestly.
